逍遥右脑 2010-02-24 23:52
What does beauty really mean？ Everybody has it's own definition. The standard of beauty changes with different society， culture and nations. Some hold the point that the beautiful appearance is of great importance， which is visible to all. Others have the idea that the spiritual beauty is the loveliest one， which lasts long. However different it might be， their opinions are all acceptable.
什么是美呢？每个人都有自己的定义。美的标准因社会、文化和国度不同而产生差异。有的人认为相貌上的美是最重要、最直观的美；有的人认为心灵上的美是最可爱、最长久的美。虽然这些想法大不相同，但是它们对美的定义却都是不无道理的。
二、创设情境来源：
以“ What is beauty in your mind？ ”为主题，发表自己的观点，题目自拟。要求：
1. 行文流畅，观点鲜明，论证充分；
2. 内容丰富，层次分明，逻辑性强；
3. 词数 150 左右。
三、学生习作
※正方习作※
Beauty will buy no beef
Everyone admires beauty. Everyone has his own standard about beauty.
Nowadays some people tend to think that they own beauty if they have a good looking. They are not satisfied with their appearance. They spend much money taking a kind of operation. Can beauty really be man-made？ If so， everybody can get beauty. As a result， there is no beauty at all.
The appearance is given by our parents and is unique in the world. Everyone should value it. I'd （ 1 ） rather prefer nature as the standard of beauty. Just accept yourself， accept everything the god gives to you， and create the beautiful life （ 2 ） belong to you.
Many heroes don't have beautiful surface. However， their beautiful images often come to our minds. Their beauty comes from their contributions to the society.
Don't be eager to judge whether a person is beautiful or not without a thorough understanding of him. A beautiful person is not the one with a good looking， but with a broad and kind heart.
Good looking is pleasant while spiritual beauty is more important. As an old saying goes， “ Virtue is fairer than beauty. ” If you have a kind heart， you own real beauty.
点评：
本文以谚语“漂亮不能当饭吃”为题，直截了当地亮出了自己的观点。全文以“美德胜于美貌”为主线，阐述了“追求外形美而放弃了内在美并不是真正的美”，“英雄之美源于奉献”。文章观点鲜明，行文顺畅，结构严谨，用词恰当。难能可贵的是，作者能运用谚语来强化自己的观点，有较强的英语语言组织能力和表达能力。
文中语言错误：（ 1 ） I'd rather prefer 改为 I'd prefer . would rather 表“宁愿”， prefer 也是“宁愿”，两者不能连用在一起。（ 2 ） belong to 改为 belonging to . belonging to you 在此处作定语。
※反方习作※
A good face is a letter of recommendation
Some people say beauty is just a skin deep. I don't quite agree with them. Good appearance often makes a big difference in social communication， competition， finding jobs and so on. Not only can good appearance help you become more confident， but also it helps you be impressed. If you want to get a good job， the first sight is important. Physical beauty is （ 1 ） probable to draw much attention.
However， we have to face this problem. We have no right to choose our appearance. When necessary， we can make up ourselves. If you think doing this is a good way to improve your confidence， just do what you really want to regardless （ 2 ） others' opinion. It is worth all the money and time. Facing a variety of social pressures， we young people should build confidence. Confidence is the key to success.
In a word， you may not be the most beautiful one， but you can be the most attractive one； you may not the best one， but you can be the most confident one. Show yourself and chances will kiss you in time.
点评：爱美之心，人皆有之。一副好脸孔就是一封介绍信。作者围绕这一主题进行阐述。在现代社会里，美丽的外表在社交、竞争、求职等方面的有着不可低估的作用。作者立意大胆，构思巧妙，很有个性。文章叙述清楚，条理清晰，层次分明，过渡自然。在语言表达上，巧妙地使用了倒装、排比等句式和一些“亮点”词语，增强了文章的感染力。对于一名中学生来说，本文不愧是一篇优秀习作。
文中语言错误：（ 1 ） probable 改为 likely . probable 不能用某人或某物作主语，常用 it 作形式主语，构成 it is probable for sb. to do sth. 结构。（ 2 ） regardless 之后加 of . regardless of 是复合介词，意为“不理会，不顾”。