逍遥右脑 2016-01-16 11:47
Discouragement, disappointment, failure, and setbacks—these are all things that can help us if we maintain an empowering mindset. The key to life is to learn from these experiences, and minimize the amount of time that we allow ourselves to stay discouraged. So the next time you start to feel discouragement, here is what you should do:
灰心，绝望，失败和挫折-都是能帮助我们坚持刚强心态的货色。性命的秘诀在于从这些阅历中学习，减少我们连续萎靡灰心丧气的时间。所以下次觉得低落的时候，试着干干这些：
1. Take the long view
从久远的角度看
Discouragement generally occurs when our expectations (what we think should happen) don’t align with reality (what actually happens). In many cases our expectations are unrealistic, and this often has to do with how long we think things should happen. If we take a longer view, and relax our expectations a little, it can really help to decrease discouragement. The reality is that most things that are worthwhile take a lot of effort and time to come to fruition. So be patient!
当我们的冀望(我们觉得应当发生的事情)没有变成事实(实际发生的事情)，我们就会失望。在许多情形下，我们的期冀都是不切实际的，这也和我们对时间的预估有着一定的关联。如果我们从深远去看，放低一下盼望，也能有效减轻我们的失落感。事实是最值得我们付出努力和时间最主要的事情就是等着好结果。所以耐烦点吧!
2. Remember, there is no such thing as failure. There is only education
记住!没有真正的失败，只是成长教育而已。
When we feel like we have failed at something, discouragement often follows. However, failure doesn’t really exist, except for the meaning that we give it. If we don’t get the result that we want, when we want it, we just need to take new action.
当以为我们在某些事失败之后，低落感也随之而来。然而，失败并不真正的存在，除非我们给事情赋予了失败的含意。如果我们没有及时得到想要的成果，只需要采用新的举动。与其把失败当成是一件坏事，
We can choose, instead of thinking of failure as bad, to think of failure as education, and therefore good. When we view it this way we realize that failure isn’t something that is bad, or something to be avoided. It is simply feedback. When we think this way we ease discouragement.
我们可以抉择把失败看成是一种沉成长教导，一件好事。如果这样看待问题，我们就会晓得失败并不是什么坏事或者需要努力防止的事情。只是一个小挫折罢了。这样想，低落感就能减轻啦。
3. Stay true to our vision. See it again in our mind
不摈弃理想，再做一次白日梦吧
If we are feeling discouraged, think about our vision. Think about what we want to create in our life. See it clearly. Feel what it would feel like if the image came into reality. What would this mean for us? How would we feel. Once we see it, and feel it, we will also feel empowered and our discouragement will dissipate.
感到沮丧的时候，想想自己的幻想。想想我们想要失掉些什么。细心的去想，感触一下如果幻想成真会是什么感想。对我们会心味着什么?我们会有什么样的心境。一旦我们去空想，去感触，就会感到布满了力气，沮丧也就云消雾散了。
4. Don’t let our ego get in the way of our development
不要让自负妨碍了自我的发展
Our ego is often the primary cause of our feelings of disappointment and discouragement. It doesn’t have to be this way. We can control our ego. When we do this, we are on the path of development. When we are internally strong enough to handle constructive criticism, and feedback, we receive the rewards of growth. Growth leads to happiness.
自信往往是造成失踪感跟懊丧的最重要原因。实在并不必定要这样，我们能够节制自己。一旦把持了，我们就已经迈向了提高的阶梯。一旦我们真正有才能去面对处置那些批评、挫折，我们就会得到成长的礼物。成长的止境是幸福。
5. Stop comparing ourself to others. We’re on a unique path
不要和别人比较，我们都是绝无仅有的
A sure fire, 100% guaranteed way to get discouraged is to focus on other people in a comparative way. Here is why: we generally see their victories, successes, and strengths. We see what they have and what we don’t. We see why they are better than us. When we do this we get discouraged and we feel sorry for ourselves. We don’t as easily see their struggles, their fears, their setbacks, and their failures.
毫无疑难，一直把自己和别人比较绝对会让我们低落。为什么呢：我们往往看到的都是他们的结果、成功和长处。我们看到的是他们有我们却不的局部，我们看到的是为什么他们比我们优良。一旦这样，我们就很轻易感到失望为自己感到好受。同时，我们很少去关注他们的挣扎、惧怕，挫折和失败。
So don’t do it. It isn’t empowering. Don’t compare. We are on a unique path. It is great to be inspired by another, but if by hearing another’s story, we feel that we are lesser, then we need to just focus on our own path.
所以不要这样了，这只会让你更加气馁。不要比拟，我们都是举世无双的存在着。让别人去鼓励你诚然好，但如果别人的故事让你认为本身有所不足，那么只要要专注自己就好了。
6. Detach from rewards, focus on our actions and giving our best work
忘掉所谓的奖赏，专注于行为，付出最大的努力
If our sole motivation for doing something is the reward that we might get from the action, then we are setting ourselves up for discouragement. Action should be its own reward. When it is, we are forever free. Freedom is at the heart of happiness. When we don’t need someone else’s praise for doing something, when we don’t need a “carrot” for performing our work, then we are truly free to just focus on our work and make it great. When we create great work we are happy.
如果我们做某件事独一的能源在于可能会取得的奖赏，那么我们就不知觉走上了一条扫兴之路。行动自身就值得被奖赏。这样一来，我们永远都是“自由之身”，自在是幸福的中心。如果在做一件事时不须要别人的嘉奖，也不需要对工作确定的嘉奖，那么我们就真的可能专一于工作做到最好。一旦获得先进会十分开心。
7. Change our “rules” for being happy
转变自己的“规定”获得幸福
What rule do we have to be happy? What has to happen for us to feel successful? Is it in our control? If it isn’t then we might be setting ourselves up for failure. By rules I mean the set of circumstances that must be present for us to feel accomplished.
什么时候会觉得幸福?产生什么样的事件会让我们感到胜利?这在我们的掌控之中么?假如不是，那我们兴许就把本人推向了失败的不归路。所谓的划定，我指的是一些必需能让咱们感到成功的特定场景。
We have to create rules that serve us. We have to live by rules that are within our control. Here are some of my rules: I am successful when I grow and improve. I am successful when I give my very best.
我们需要为自己制作规定，我们需要遵守这些可以由自己掌控的规则。比方我的规矩是：只要我成上进步就是成功，只有我付出尽力就是成功。
8. Consider who we are spending time with
想想我们该花时光和谁在一起
The people who we spend the most time with might be a major contributing factor to feeling discouragement. This can be a very hard one, especially if those people are family and loved ones. We have a tendency to become who we most frequently associate with, and if we spend all our time with people who are constantly negative, and feeling sorry for themselves, we can be influenced to see life through a similar lens.
和我们相处最久的那些人也许是带来沮丧的最大因素。这听起来不大舒畅，尤其是他们会是家人或爱人。我们总会不知觉的变成身边最亲热人的样子，如果我们始终和消极的人在一起，为他们感到难过，我们也会被影响和他们一样去对待生活。
So what can we do? We can’t simply cut loved ones out of our lives. So what we should do is simply expand our social network. Join a peer group that is positive. Start to surround ourselves with positive people as a balance. Over time we will start to take on their mindset and this will help with any feelings of discouragement we may have.
那该怎么办呢?我们不能简略的把爱人消除在生涯之外。所以能做的就是扩展自己的社交圈。参加踊跃的同龄人小组。让四周充斥了正能量的人作为均衡。人不知鬼不觉我们就会汲取这些正能量，也能辅助我们减少丧气感。
9. Get outside, move and breathe
出去运动一下，呼吸新鲜空气
Fresh air and sunshine can have an amazing effect on our feelings. Sometimes when we are feeling down, all that we need to do is simply to go outside and breathe. Movement and exercise is also a fantastic way to feel better. Positive emotions can be generated by motion. So if we start to feel down, take some deep breathes, go outside, feel the fresh air, let the sun hit our face, go for a hike, a walk, a bike ride, a swim, a run, whatever. We will feel better if we do this.
新鲜空气和阳光真的能给我们带来不一样的感受。当我们觉得沮丧时，只需要简单的走出去呼吸新鲜空气。活动锤炼能让心情变好，好的心情能带来更多积极的情感。如果我们觉得低落，那么就深呼吸，去郊外看看，感受新颖的空气，享受阳光的沐浴、郊游、漫步、骑车或是游泳跑步，什么都可以。只有这样做相对会很开心。
10. Talk to our mentor
和导师对话
Our mentor can be a great source of wisdom when we are feeling down. So when discouragement rears its ugly head, go have a coffee with our mentor. They will be able to give us wisdom based on experience. In many cases they will also give us tough love and help us to snap out of it if we are feeling sorry for ourselves. They will also help us to make a specific plan of action to work our way out of discouragement.
在沮丧时，导师是我们最大的智慧之源。所以当失落感悄悄到来，跟导师一起喝杯咖啡吧。他们可以依据自己的教训给我们一些智慧提醒。良多时候，他们给予我们的爱和关心能帮助我们走出自大，也会帮我们制订具体的打算来走出沮丧。
11. Go find someone who we can help
去找那些需要我们赞助的人
This is a great way to alleviate discouragement. Go find someone who needs help, and then help them. It is really that simple. When we serve others, when we go out of our way to help other people in need, we feel better. It is impossible to be discouraged when we are giving all our efforts on behalf of another. Discouragement is a really a self-driven symptom. We are focusing on ourselves. That is why we feel bad. However, when we stop thinking about ourselves, and when we direct our attention to another, we feel better.
这是减少沮丧最好的方法。找那些需要帮助的人，而后帮助他们吧。这真的无比简单。在服务别人的时候，在帮助那些需要帮助的人时，我们也会开心。当全身心的帮助别人，从他人角度想问题时，沮丧也就不复存在了。沮丧是一个内化的感情，当我们只关注自己时才会有如斯蹩脚的感到。然而当我们结束斟酌自己，开端转向帮助别人的时候，所有都好起来了。